A Whirlwind of Appointments

 When we last let off, I had just had what seemed like half of my blood taken from my body and what has followed can only be described as a complete whirlwind of appointment after appointment.   As if I wasn't already exhausted from my current sleep predicament!!!  To say I'm beyond tired would be an understatement. 

I had all the blood taken on the 27th of July, which was two days following my consultation with my surgeon.   The following week, I had three various appointments. 

First up was with Behavioral Health.  This was for the bariatric psych evaluation, basically to find out if I have any addictions or mental issues that might need to be worked on prior to being approved for surgery.  For this appointment, I went up to the hospital where they did a urinalysis and took my vitals and then plopped me into a room with a huge TV where I had a virtual appointment with the psychologist.  She and I discussed my childhood, my eating habits, what I've done in the past to lose weight, and what my understanding of the surgery both before, during and after would entail.  Honestly, it was an easy appointment for me because yes, while I've had some childhood trauma, it's something I've dealt with and doesn't seem to have any lingering effects, especially not on how I eat.  I'm not a binge eater or an emotional eater, nor do I eat a lot of unhealthy foods.  I went into this appointment with complete honestly and transparency.   Her outcome was basically that I am a good advocate for myself and that "Patient is a suitable candidate for bariatric surgery and is cleared for the procedure.".   Okay, so that's one hoop jumped thru. 

The next day, it was off to another appointment, this time for the results of my sleep study.   Out of everything I've done so far, this appointment is probably the one that had me stressing the most, because honestly, it's the one that triggered all the other appointments, if you really think about it.  My whole reason for visiting my PCP the first time was because I was having problems with being fatigued all the time.  This visit hopefully was about to provide all the answers I needed - however, during the sleep study, I had only slept for a total of three hours.  I didn't know if this would be enough information to get any sort of diagnosis.

Waiting in the Sleep Room for my results

Thankfully, it was.  The doctor walked in and started going over the results with me, stating that once I finally fell asleep, I quickly showed signs of "mild obstructive sleep apnea with an apnea/hypopnea index of 6.9 per hour and a respiratory disturbance index of 10.2 per hour"...  Okay, so, my head hears "mild OSA", okay... 

But wait, there's more.. 

His exact words - "Then you hit REM sleep and things got interesting"....  

So it turned out I have what is called " REM Related Obstructive Sleep Apnea".  So, when I'm in the other cycles of sleep, I have mild sleep apnea.. However, once REM hits, my AHI (Apnea/Hypopnea index) jumps more than 300% - from 10.2 to 30.6 in just 20 minutes of REM sleep (and with my stopping breathing on average for 63 seconds during those REM events).   Bottom line - it's time for CPAP when I sleep.  

 

Unfortunately, this also means I have to do another in lab sleep study in order to titrate the machine to the pressures needed to keep my airway open when I'm asleep.  The next available appointment was more than a month away, although the Doc wants me in sooner if it's possible, so my name is on the cancel list, meaning if someone cancels their study that night, they will call me and I have to be ready to go at a moments notice.  Hopefully, my machine will be ready by the time I actually get into a lab.  We shall see, but at least we have answers.  To help me get thru until I get the machine, I ordered a wedge pillow to keep my head elevated in hopes that that might help me sleep better with less apnea events.  

 

The following day was yet another appointment, this one for the bariatric surgery.  My surgeon wanted me to have a Fitness assessment done prior to surgery, I guess to see if I have any physical restrictions that might create a problem with recovery or whatever.  For this appointment, I went to a Physical Rehabilitation center where I met with a physical therapist that made me do a series of tests. 

 This took less than an hour and was pretty easy.  The first test I had to do was basically walk up and down the hall for 6 minutes, while the therapist followed beside me with this counter on a wheel that measured the distance I went.  The next test was where I had to sit in a chair and for 30 seconds I had to sit down and then stand up over and over again. Following that, she had me put my arms or legs in different positions and she would press against them and I had to keep her from moving them.  The last series of tests were for balance - stand on one foot, point the toe of the other one and stay that way for 30 seconds type of deal.  With all that done, she declared me in good physical shape with no restrictions that would hinder surgery.  Easy peasy.. but dang, I'm glad that my insurance is paying for that, because that appointment alone was $1600 bucks.. lol

Luckily, that was the last of the appointments for that week.. with only 1 appointment for the following week - the Echocardiogram. 

I don't think Echos are common for Bariatric Surgery.  However, back in the 90s, I took the drugs Fen- Phen (Fenfluramine/phentermine) that was prescribed by a physician for weight loss.  Turns out, the two drugs in combination with each other caused a lot of people to have issues with their hearts and many people even died from taking them together.  My surgeon wanted to make sure that there wasn't any lasting effects on my heart that we might not know about.  So, off to the hospitals Cardiopulmonary lab I went. 

I had a really great technican named Scott who, as it would turn out, was also in the process of having bariatric surgery with the same surgeon and we had a ton of stuff in common.  He was an absolute hoot, cracking jokes the entire time he was doing the test ("here's your liver.  You know what I think that liver looks like? It looks like it would go well with fava beans and a nice chianti...fffff fff fffft).  He explained that he was going to take about 72 photos of my heart and he explained what he was looking for with each angle.  The entire test took about 20 minutes with no abnormal findings.  Turns out, not only do I have a heart (contrary to what my ex husband might think) but it's a very healthy heart.   

With only 1 appointment that week, I had a bit of time to relax before heading into another week of multiple appointments. 

Week 3 started off with an appointment with my dietician. (Has it only been 3 weeks since I started this??). 

The View from my Surgeon's waiting room

My dieticians name is Stephanie and is a really nice individual.  First, I had to get weighed, which showed I am maintaining my weight (although, I would be willing to bet I lost a lb or two, but I was on my monthly cycle and usually gain 2-3lbs for the first few days of it).  They honestly want me to maintain where I am at and not lose too much before surgery and definitely not gain anything.  We talked about what I've been eating and she was happy I had both switched to a smaller plate (from a 12 inch dinner plate to an 8 inch dessert plate) and had started making sure half of my plate was vegetables.  I then had to speak with my surgeon's nurse who informed me that as soon as I have my endoscopy, they would be putting me on the schedule for surgery. The estimated timeline for that would be about 3 weeks following the test.  Yeah, THAT was a shocker, as I was expecting it to take much longer to get a surgery date.  She said that since all my tests are showing I'm ready for surgery and that the endoscopy would be the very last thing, there's no reason that my insurance wouldn't approve it and that I was more than ready.  Okay by me.    

Appointment 2 - the following day.  This was an appointment with my PCP, Dr Palmer. 

Another waiting room

 

One of the things my surgeon wanted me to do is to see my PCP once a month, so this was my August appointment.  I brought all of the current test results with me and we discussed everything that was going on.  Dr Palmer reiterated that she is very happy that we are going down this route as she feels this surgery is the perfect tool for my situation.  She explains that weight loss surgery isn't something she routinely suggests for her patients because too many think it's a quick fix to their overeating but explains that in my situation, she knows that my weight is more of a hormonal situation and not a result of too much food.   She states that once I get on my CPAP and I have this surgery, that in about 6 months she thinks I'll be very happy with where I am at as it will be a totally different life for me.  I sure hope so..  I am ready for my body to stop fighting me at every turn.

One final test for the week.  This one isn't really related to my surgery, but is one of those routine tests that I have put off and put off for a few years now - my mammogram.  I know it's important, especially since I have a family history of breast cancer.  It's not that I was scared to have it done - but when it was scheduled last time, Covid hit almost immediately and the hospitals in California shut down "elective" procedures and were only doing emergency tests.  Routine Mammograms weren't considered emergency so it got put off.  Then we moved to New Mexico and I just didn't think to reschedule it. However, my surgeon decided that I might as well get all of my routine stuff taken care of before surgery - so that's why I'm having both the mammogram and the colonoscopy done prior. 

Blood Rites

Today was busy busy busy.

Woke up this morning to a phone call from the Behavior Health office, to schedule my psychiatric exam.. Easy peasy, that's scheduled for next week.  Boom!!  One thing less off my check list.  Also called to get my COVID test scheduled for August 27th, as I have to have it done 4 days before they do the endoscopy/colonoscopy on Sept 1st.

After a few cups of coffee, I had a tele-visit with my primary care doctor.  Have I mentioned I absolutely love my PCM??  Talked to her about what went down with the surgeon and how she needed me to get a mammogram and an echocardiogram due to taking fen/phen in the 90s..  She put those in for me today, so we're all set there.  She also went over some information for her part of getting surgery approved for me - what "Co-mobidities" she was going to list.  The final list for my insurance is hypertension, hyperlipidemia, hypertriglyceridemia, joint pain (in regards to my knees), stress incontinence, GERD, sleep apnea, and pre-diabetes (although I am no longer pre-diabetic but have been listed as such in the past).  The insurance requires 1 comorbidity - I have 8 listed..  When I do something, I do it big I guess. 

After speaking with her and verifying that I could have my labwork drawn at the clinic's laboratory instead of having to drive off base to the hospital, I decided to go ahead and take care of the blood draw.  I needed to pick up a prescription refill anyway (fish oil that I take for cholesterol) so I figured I would just take care of it while I was there.  I needed a total of 11 labs run and I didn't now if I needed to fast for any of them and since I hadn't eaten yet, I figured it was the perfect time to take care of it.    

It took the guy a good 25 minutes to put in all the labs into the computer, and I think he was rather peeved about doing it (you'll understand why in a moment)..  After waiting for him to finish, he finally called me back and did the draw..  TEN VIALS!!!  I though having 3 vials was quite a bit, I never have seen so many vials of blood before..  Hopefully he left some in my body........  He allowed me to take a pic of all the vials after the draw, before he put the labels on them with my personal information.. All I can say is WOW!!

Now, here's why I think he was rather peeved about either having to put all that information into the computer, or maybe about having to do such a bit draw.  It was already a bit painful having the blood drawn - every time he swapped out the tubes, it pushed in past my vein and would jab my muscle.. Ten times of that sucked.. but then, when he pulled out the cannula, he managed to drag it across my forearm and gouged my skin, leaving a nice scratch. It arched across the top of my forearm, and then there's a second scratch on the side of my forearm.  OUCH!!  Dude didn't even appologize.

Hopefully that's the end of the blood work for a LONG time!!!

I was beyond ready to get out of there, but I went ahead and picked up my prescription and then dropped off the prescription for my colon prep.. It appears that the prescription for the Reglan wasn't included, so I will have to ask the surgeon's office for that prescription when I go for my next dietary appointment so I can get that as well.. 

A New Journey

 I started this blog years ago, not knowing what really to write about.  I thought it would be my fitness journey would be about getting into shape - working out, eating right, all the things that they tell you that you have to do in order to be healthy.  I did all that.  I got down to 190lbs and I was thrilled.. and then, I just couldn't get below that.  No matter what I ate, how restrictive I was with calories, and how much of a caloric deficit I had between what I took in and what I burned thru fitness, it just wasn't happening.  No matter what I was doing, my body seemed like it was fighting against me.  I built up some great muscles, improved my cardiovascular system (resting heart rate went from being in the 100s down to the low 70s), managed to lower my A1C from being pre-diabetic and right on the verge of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes to a normal level, and lowered my cholesterol and triglycerides - although not to a healthy range.  But the one number I couldn't seem to bring down was the number on the scale.  And as a result, I continued to have high blood pressure as well as the high cholesterol and triglycerides. Also, no matter how much I trained, I couldn't keep pace on a run or jog for more than 2 minutes at a time without tiring out.  I assumed this was due to just having too much weight on my body.

About 6 months ago, I began to notice that my energy levels were fading.  Within a span of 2 months, I could bearly stay awake, do anything around the house, and I surely couldn't work out like I had been doing.  I knew something wasn't right, so off to the doctor I went.  After TONS of blood work which all came back normal, my doctor finally suggested I might have sleep apnea.  This was kind of a final wake up for me - I have bad knees, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and now possibly sleep apnea?  What is something that contributes to all of these things?? If you said being overweight, well then Ding Ding Ding!!!

Let's talk health and science for a moment.  There's something that every single overweight person hates more than anything, even more than the number on the scale.. That something is the BMI (Body mass index) chart.  Doctors came up with this torturous device as a way to fat shame people.. Well, no, not really, that isn't the reason why, but sometimes it feels that way.  This graph is pretty simple to work out.. Find your height, find your weight and where they meet up, that's your BMI, or the percentage of your total weight that is fat.

Sadly, my father was short and my mother was short.  So, I was destined to be a hobbit as I barely reach 5'1.  My current weight sits at 195lbs.  This means my BMI is 38 percent, putting me in the "Obese" category.  At one point, I was in the "extremely obese" category with a BMI of 45 but the hard work at least knocked me down to just "obese".. I guess that's an accomplishment, right? Regardless, I'm still "obese" and while many will tell you "healthy at any size", being an ex healthcare worker, I know this isn't true.  I was seeing issues that were weight related and I have a family history of diabetes, heart attacks and strokes, something I realized was in my future if I didn't make some changes quick.

With all this in my mind and hearing the words "sleep apnea", I asked my doctor something that I had thought about but hadn't really considered.  Would I be a good candidate for weight loss surgery?  After all, I wasn't 300lbs overweight.. Heck, I'm not even 100lbs overweight at this point.  I didn't know if the doctor would tell me that no, it wasn't even a consideration for me but I felt compelled to ask.  

Her answer shocked me... "Actually,  I think you would be a great candidate for WLS." She already knew my struggles with my weight and explained to me that for some people, they can do everything right but their bodies just don't let go of the weight.  She felt that for me, WLS would probably be the perfect tool to help me achieve weight loss.

 "Let me go run  some numbers really fast and see if you qualify".  She left the room and 5 minutes later she returned and said that sure enough, I met the insurance requirements, that there was a new surgeon in the area who had lots of experience in bariatric surgery and she would put in a referral that day, as well as a referral for a sleep study.  No judgement, no criticism, just complete support.. Can I just say, my PCM totally rocks!!! 

I got approval for both referrals with two weeks. It was time to make some appointments.  

 The first referral approved was for the sleep study.  I called and a consultation with the sleep medicine doctor was made for the following week.  

At this consultation, I met with Dr Simmons, a jolly guy from Texas who likes to talk quite a bit.  After asking my husband and myself questions about my sleeping (where my husband admitted I often "snort" during sleep, Dr Simmons began his physical exam.  Before even starting, he said he had a sure sign that he could see that would almost guarantee whether someone had sleep apnea - something he called a "Class 4 airway", where he explained that the tongue had a serrated look to it.  He had me stick out my tongue and called my husband over - sure enough, my tongue had these grooves in it.  

 

Not my tongue.. but an example of Scalloped Tongue

He said "Well, if I was in Vegas right now, I'd put all my money on you having sleep apnea.  But we still have to do a sleep study to document it for the insurance, which is just a formality."

Next step.  Sleep Study. 

The pure misery on my face says it all

 

I had an "in lab" sleep study, because I guess my insurance will actually pay for it rather than a home study.  I WISH i had had a home study, because you put on a few wires and you get to sleep snug in your own bed.  Instead, I had what felt like 100 wires attached to me - in my hair, up my nose, on my legs.  And they were all bundled behind my head. So trying to sleep on my back was painful. Trying to sleep on my side was painful because the wires went from behind me to the side of me where they connected to a box, which meant the wires dug into my arm (remember - 38 BMI so there's alot of arm there!!)  There was a fire alarm over the door, so every minute a bright white light was flashing (and I'm sensitive to light when I'm trying to sleep).. one of the wires that went to my leg was very taunt and where it wrapped around behind me, pulled on my neck..  and to make matters worse, there was another patient in the next room throwing a fit, screaming and hollering at the technician.  Needless to say, I only slept for about 3 hours before the tech woke me up at 5am saying we were all done, time to go home.  I asked her if she thought we got the information needed and she said she felt like we did but it was up to the doctor to make that ultimate decision.  I headed out the door with a 3 week wait to find out the results.

A few days after the sleep study referral was approved, the referral for the bariatric surgeon came in.  This proved to be a bit more frustrating than the sleep study. 

When I called to make the appointment, I was told by the front desk that I had to actually physically bring the referral to them.  Since I already had to go to the sleep study office to fill out paperwork for that referral, I decided to swing over and drop it off at the same time, since the two places were about a mile apart. I get there and give the referral to the front desk and the woman starts making an appointment for me.  She gets about halfway thru and asks me "So what will this be in regards to?".  I tell her it's for weight loss surgery.  

This woman's attitude completely changes. She hands me the referral back.  "I can't make that appointment" she says. She asks me "Did you do the info session".  I have no idea what she's talking about and tell her this.  She says "You have to do the infosession. I can't make the appointment". I ask her what info session as nobody mentioned this to me when I called when I first got the referral, only that I needed to bring the referral in.  She huffs at me and finally says "Let me go get her nurse for you". Okay, you do that. 

The nurse comes out.  Luckily, she's much nicer than the lady at the front desk.  She explains that before I can make an appointment for weight loss consultation, I have to attend the surgeons info session, and while she knows that date and time, she doesn't yet know where it will be at.  She takes down my name and phone number and promises to call me with the information once she has it.  I thank her and head on my way, grateful that she was much more pleasant than the woman at the front desk.  She called a week later, giving me the necessary information and I was all set. 

 Info session.  Cut and dry.  Basically, the surgeon introduces herself and her experience, explains the various procedures that she performs,  explains the process to obtain WLS, and allows everyone the opportunity to ask questions.  I was also given a HUGE stack of papers to fill out with all my medical history, ect.  I filled it all out, turned it in and was told that the nurse would call me to schedule the appointment.  The following week, she called and again, we're all set for an appointment with both the surgeon and the dietician. 

Fast forward to the appointment.  

Now, I moved to this state recently, after spending 11 years in California.  This is a new hospital system to me, so I have no clue how they do stuff.  I knew where the surgeon's office was, after having the whole ordeal of trying to turn in the referral.  So, that's where I went.  Tell the girl at the front desk I'm there for a 4pm appointment with the surgeon. "Did you check in downstairs?"  Nope, didn't know that was a thing.  "You have to do downstairs and check in first"..  Okay.. ride the elevator back down, go thru the check in process.  Head back upstairs to the front desk.  "Do you have the folder you were given at the info session?"  I have it, I didn't bring it with me (as I had already filled out all the paperwork and turned it in AT the infosession). "There was a packet of papers you were required to fill out and bring back with you".  I explain I've already turned in that packet of papers at the time of the infosession.  "Hang on, I need to go talk to someone".. I see her walk over to three other people, in a group.. Each looking over at me as they are talking.  I have a mask on (covid protocol in a hospital) and I tell my husband "They are over there talking shit on me" lol  Finally, the nurse whom I turned the papers into comes over to them and I guess they tell her that I don't have my packet of papers.. She waves at me and says "No worries, I have them, you're good" and the girl front the front desk comes back and says "they will get you in a moment"..  Needless to say, I'm REALLY not impressed with the front desk staff!!  LOL 

At the appointment

Finally brought in to the office.  My first "official" weigh in - 195.6lbs.  We head to a room where I have my vitals taken (bp was 149/90 I think). Finally, the surgeon enters, along with a nurse and the dietician.  This is when I start worrying - will she tell me to buzz off, because while my BMI is 38, I only need to lose about 80lbs? 

Nope.. quite the opposite.  She tells me that I'm actually in a really good spot for WLS - no major health problems yet, even though I have 4 comorbidity. She will have to do some research to find out if I have to wait 3 or 6 months before surgery, but in the mean time, I'm in the program (After paying the $200 program fee). She gives me referrals for a bariatric psych evaluation, a fitness assessment ( I think this is because I have knee issues and she wants to document that for my insurance as another reason why I should be approved for surgery), as well as scheduling me for a colonoscopy (since I am do for one) and endoscopy.   I'm also told since I took fen/phen back in the 90s, I need to arrange with my PCM for an echocardiogram as well as a mammogram (since I'm past due for it).  

Time for the dietician.  

My dietician is a nice woman by the name of Stephanie.  She informs me that the $200 that my husband was so awesome to go downstairs and pay covers all her services with me for the next 5 years.  She explains that at any time, I can call her office and speak with her as well as make appointments to meet with her, regardless of if it's every day, once a week, once a month, FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS!!  (I hope the surgeons office pays her well - $200 for 5 years??)  She then asks me a bunch of questions about my diet. How many meals do I eat (3 meals a day), how often do I snack (I don't), do I feel that I eat until I am overly full, like being stuffed at Thanksgiving (no, not really.. I often push my plate away without finishing once I'm full). How often do I go out to eat (maybe 2 times a month, I typically cook all meals at home). I explain to her that honestly, I'm not an emotional or stress eater -  I think my biggest problem is probably my portion sizes.  She asks what my typical portion size is.  I tell her rather than try to explain, I can show her, as I often photograph my food.  She likes this and says yeah, she would like to see. I load up an album on my phone that is several photos of meals that we typically eat.  Her reaction?? "I need to come over to your house to eat. This looks amazing!!!".. She says she wished all her patients had photos of their food, though she doubts that their plates would look as healthy as mine. She says that my meals look balanced, but that I should make 50% of my plate contain my vegetables and then other 50% of the plate contain my protein and carb.  She also suggests to get a smaller plate, switching to a 9 inch plate as I use a 12inch plate.  But overall, she approves of my eating habits.  

She explains that in my case, she feels that my body's weight "set point" is set at a specific weight and that regardless of cutting calories and exercising, my body wants to stay there.  That's why I can lose to a certain point thru diet and exercise but then can't get beyond. That this is why I've seen improvement on all the other aspects (lower resting heart rate, lower A1C, lower cholesterol, ect) but not the success I would like on the scale.  This is the third person to say that I've done everything right - that it just seems my body won't do it's share.  This also makes me feel I'm making the right choice about WLS.

I always told myself that I didn't want surgery - that I would lose my excess weight the hard way - thru sweat equity. But after years of putting in the work and seeing very little results in weight reduction, I'm kinda at a point where I just feel defeated. I've put on so much muscle mass with the understanding that muscle would burn off fat but instead, my sleeves of my shirts are way too tight because my I've now got some pretty awesome biceps but no reduction in weight on top of them. I can hold a 5 minute plank because I've focused so much on core work, but the excess bulk that sits upon them won't budge. It's discouraging to hear both a doc and a dietician say "you're doing all the right things" but your body just defeats you. Sometimes, it's not all about calories in/calories out. 

 

First day of this journey - No Filters.

 

Sooooooo, now begins a new journey.  Hopefully, one that yields more success than I've been on for the last few years.   And I'm planning on documenting all of it, each step of the way.  So that maybe, I can look back on it years from now and know I made the right decision.  I also want to document my thoughts and feelings thru the entire process, because I know that it's going to be an emotional journey full of ups and downs. 

Hopefully, the next step is going to the sleep doctor and getting a diagnosis for obstructive sleep apnea and getting a cpap so I can start feeling somewhat better.  Because at this point, I am so tired of being tired.  I'm tired of feeling worthless.  I'm tired of not being able to do the things I enjoy because I have absolutely no energy..  Fingers crossed!!!

Take a Journey With Me

Chinese philosopher Laozi once said, " The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.".  Well, two weeks ago, I started that journey and took that first step.  While my finish line isn't 1000 miles, it doesn't make it that less challenging.  The final goal is to lose a total of 100 pounds.  Although I am going to admit that I am starting this blog with a bit of a head start.  In January 2017 I was sitting at 224 lbs.  I started 2018 at 209, so I had already lost 15 of those 100lbs.

See how the weight jumps at the beginning from 214 to 224? Yeah, that's because I finally got myself a scale at that time. Prior to that, I just told myself I weighed in at 214.  I can't be the only one who did that, right?? Yeah, it was a real shocker when I stepped on the scale for the first time.   And so I started working out. Mostly just running on a treadmill, and I lost some weight.  I got down to 209 and pretty much stayed there for a while.  I stopped working out, I stopped doing anything to lose weight but I still ate healthily.  The result was, I lost a few pounds, dropping down to 204 in the course of the year but I didn't put anything on, giving me a better playing field to start with for 2018 than I had in 2017..  Basically, I gave myself a good 20 lb head start towards my goal for 2018 - to lose 100 lbs without surgery or fad diets. I'm going to do this the old fashioned way  with diet and exercise.

The end goal is to weigh in at around 124lbs which is on the higher end of what is considered a normal healthy weight for a female at 5'2 inches.  I will not kid myself to think I would ever weight under 124 lbs again and even aiming for 124 pounds seems pretty unrealistic.  As things stand right now, I am in the "Obese" category.  Last year, I was considered "Extremely Obese" so I've made some improvement at least. 

But the fact is, I'm still "obese"..   And we can't really be honest about anything else until we are honest about that. There is an excess of fat in just about every portion of my body which is putting undue strain on the organs of my body.  I am pre-diabetic, I have high blood pressure, I have high cholesterol, and my cardio fitness score is 24.6.  While I do not take any medications for any medical conditions, it's easy to say that if I don't work on making the changes that need to be met, I will probably develop a number of conditions in the near future.  With a history of heart disease and diabetes in my family, it's up to me to either live with it or do something about it before it gets to that point.

Nobody said "obese" was pretty.  We can try to bullshit ourselves all we want with body positivity and all that load of crap.  I know I'm way overweight, I know it's not attractive and I know it's killing me.   And to show you just how well aware of how bad it looks, I'm going to share my current photos with you...

Yeah, there's not a whole lot to smile about in those pictures.  One day, I hope, these will be my "Before" pictures, that I can put side by side with pictures of a svelt looking beauty with a tight butt and even tighter abs in a two piece swim suit.

I'm starting this blog 2 weeks in on my exercise routine.  In those two weeks, I've dropped my weight down an additional 4 lbs, bringing me into what I call "Onederland" for the first time in probably 11 years.

So here are where the stats are at this moment:

Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 199
Measurements as of 1/17/2018
     Chest:  49 in
     Upper Arms:  16 inches
     Waist:  44 inches
      Hips: 73 inches  (that includes my huge enormous gut)
     Thighs:  25.5
     Calves:  14.5

                   Total Inches:  222

Yeah, we got some work to do!!!

And I've been trying my best to do it.. For the last two weeks, I have been working out 6 days a week.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I accompany my husband to the gym/track and I work on the rowing machine for 15 minutes while he runs. Once I complete a full 15 minutes of rowing, I join him on the track for two laps. While I am not running the laps, I am trying to jog one of the straights each time I come to it.

These days also has me facing my current nemisis - the tire flip.  This flip is 180lbs and for the first week, I could lift it up but not lift it high enough to get the momentum to flip it.  This week, I did finally accomplish actually flipping it.  This will continue to be the end of my workouts on M-W-F as I hope to get to where flipping this thing is nothing...

Finally flipping the damn thing!!!!

On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, I have been trying to work on strength training.   I'm going to be completely honest here, I have NO idea what I am doing with weights and there's nobody to teach me so I have been devouring every muscle magazine and youtube video I can find to learn proper techniques and exercises to do.

Tonight I even hopped back on the Treadmill..  I'm going to be trying to use Couch 2 5K to help get me from a lard ass to a runner and I figured this was a good way to start.  However, my youngest was with me this time and decided to have a fit, so I had to leave before completing the full 30 minutes of my walk/jog.  (I did complete 30 minutes of weights before getting on the treadmill, so my workout wasn't a complete bust).

Now, for my goals.. I have to have something to work towards.  So, here it goes

1.)   To be able to run (with a respectable time) the "Reindeer Run 5K" in December


Right now, that's pretty much it.. Other's will come into play as time goes by. Like fitting into a pair of white shorts that I have right now (size 16) and actually look good in them rather than like a sausage. Currently, they don't fit at all.   That would be one of my short-term goals.  As I think of more, I'll document them.

This blog is really for me as a way to look back on the journey that I am taking.  But if someone finds it and wishes to follow it, by all means, follow. But be warned, if you find this blog through my Homeschool blog, my language will be much different here.  There will be days I will be upset - the scale didn't' go the way I hoped, I didn't accomplish something, ect and since I'm using this as my diary, I will express that frustration here.  I admit I curse like a sailor.  Both of my parents were Marines and my first word was of the four-letter variety.  If you can deal with that, then we're good.